This is a story of how tragedy

was transformed into hope.

Founded in 2019

Our family was delighted to welcome Haven Rose into our world as our fourth child and first daughter. She was a heart's desire and an answer to prayer. Our hearts exploded with gratitude when we found out she was a girl! She was healthy; mommy was healthy, and we were all so excited to bring her home in early October. The week of delivery we were preparing our home and hearts for her arrival. Her nursery was very prepared and ready for her to start living life in.

One evening, her movement slowed down and eventually completely stopped. Fear, shock, and disbelief sank into my heart as I had to share this with my husband, Haven’s daddy. This couldn’t be our reality. The next morning, we went straight to our clinic. The staff struggled to find a heartbeat. From the moment we (mom and dad) realized this was real, grief and shock began to settle in. Life-changing outcomes awaited our family.

The doctor who confirmed this terrible news cried and grieved over the loss of our daughter. The clinic was completely silent as we walked out of the ultrasound room into the hallway. It felt as though the whole world stopped to acknowledge and embrace Haven's death. While still in shock, we continued through the steps to make a plan for delivering our stillborn daughter, a process we never expected to go through.

At this point, we were transferred to our wonderful OBGYN that had been caring for Haven throughout pregnancy. She shared her excitement with us about meeting our sweet little girl. Upon entering our room, she immediately embraced my husband and me. She comforted us with words that our hearts needed to hear: "I'm so sorry, words can never make this better.". She was so right when she said, "This isn't fair or the way it should be.". It didn't make any sense, as we are people who value life and love our children. We know and strongly believe life is a blessing from God, so why us?

The reality of everything was sinking in deep. As I was sobbing uncontrollably with my hands over my face, I looked outside the window and saw a beautiful hummingbird hovering around an Evergreen tree. Despite the pain, my spirit was lifted. In the days that followed, I researched the significance of hummingbirds and found that they are associated with healing, hope, joy, and community. The meaning seemed to be the opposite of what we were experiencing as we entered the delivery room. We were dreading this moment. As I was being induced, I asked the sweet nurses caring for me some really hard questions. Can you tell me what it's like? How should I prepare my heart? I knew what it is like to deliver a baby breathing, a baby not breathing just sounded like a nightmare. Our delivery room window was being visited by another hummingbird at this same moment. It was sitting on a branch, peering inside the window, and seemed to be making itself known. Another reminder that we were not alone, God was with us.

Working up to delivery was the worst thing I have ever had to do as a mother. As our sweet little girl entered the world utterly still, everything within me broke. A wave of uncontrollable pain poured out of my innermost self. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. We spent as much time with her as we could during the next 48 hours. We held, kissed, wept over, took pictures, and made funeral arrangements for her. Then the day came when we were supposed to leave the hospital with her still alive and instead had to leave it without her. Our hearts were broken and our arms were aching for her. It felt like we were abandoning our precious little girl.

Upon arriving home without our sweet little girl, we spotted another hummingbird. God knew we would need to experience hope, healing, joy, and community. A hummingbird appeared at the three most painful points in our experience of loss. At the hospital, where it was confirmed that she had passed away, the delivery room, where we experienced one of the worst moments of our life, and at our home, where our daughter never made her expected appearance. These reflections were more than a coincidence, they were a gentle reminder of God's presence in the midst of our pain. 

In addition to Haven's name, there is a lot of significance to the person we believe God created her to be. Her name means "a place of refuge". As parents, our vision for her life was that she would be a safe place of healing for others. A person with whom people could feel deeply loved and cared for. Her presence would be warm, her heart would be tender, her spirit would be sensitive, and her touch would be healing. Though this isn't how we expected to share our little girl, the impact of her life is still evident. 

Even during the first month of intense grief, there were moments when we felt a deep sense of hope. Throughout the day, I kept envisioning a serene garden. A beautiful space where the community can come together. A place where families can come as often as they wish to validate their losses. A safe refuge to grieve, cry, remember, plant, water, and ultimately heal. This vision quickly led to the formation of the Haven Rose Foundation. The HRF mission is to instill hope and cultivate community by providing genuine care and outlets of healing for families who have experienced the loss of a child.

Written by Jessica - A mothers perspective

Ratho and Jessica Reis

Parents of Haven Rose & Founders of the Haven Rose Foundation